REVIEW: Queer Honky Tonk with Live Music From The Hudson Valley Flyers!
5/23 @ Unicorn Bar, Kingston
Photos by Debi Gustafson
“Making room for queerness in a honky tonk can be a challenge. And making room for honky tonk in a queer space? Just as tricky. But this night proved it’s not only possible; it’s powerful.”
“A Tonk Waits for No Man” — Tori, The Twirling Tornado
The Queer Honky Tonk—complete with live music from The Hudson Valley Flyers, partner rotations, and a whole lot of boot-stomping—was like stepping into a room where joy was the only expectation.
I didn’t expect to feel so at home. Not in a honky tonk. Not with country music twanging in the air. I certainly didn’t expect strangers to start grabbing my hand and spinning me around the floor like it was the most natural thing in the world. But that’s exactly what happened at Unicorn Bar in Kingston.
The whole room shimmered, disco balls casting light across cowboy hats, bandanas, and boots moving with ease. There was music in the air, but also something warmer: an open, undeniable sense of camaraderie.
It wasn’t just about dancing, queer community, or country music. It combined all of those things and became a night of letting go of every preconceived notion I had. Letting myself be a little shy, clumsy, and uncertain, yet still being welcomed.
I was nervous at first; I didn’t know anyone besides Debi, and I’d never two-stepped before. But the second the music started and I stepped into the lesson, all of that loosened. Everyone was there to dance, to laugh, to mess up, to connect. It wasn’t about being perfect. It was about being present.
Copperhead Meg (Meg Rhinehart), who teaches the lessons alongside Tori the Twirling Tornado (Tori Griffin), said it best: “Dancing is just so much fun, and I love the community connection that it builds. It gives people the release to just have fun.”
That’s exactly what it did. Even for someone like me, who doesn’t always know how to loosen up in unfamiliar spaces. There was no pressure to get it right, only encouragement to keep going. “It’s not competitive,” Meg told me. “It’s just about having a good time.”
And it was. From the partner rotations (a deeply underrated way to make new friends) to the post-lesson dancing and mingling, the whole night felt like it was designed to make space. Space for connection, space for queerness, and space for joy.
Making room for queerness in a honky tonk can be a challenge. And making room for honky tonk in a queer space? Just as tricky. But this night proved it’s not only possible, it’s powerful.
“I had to learn in straight spaces,” Meg said. “People would have a comment to make, or they wouldn’t want to dance with me, which made me feel anxious. Here, I can be myself. I don’t have to think about people not wanting to dance with me just because I’m a lesbian.”
I talked to Anika Winters, another first-timer like me, who came out that night hoping to find some community.
“When I started exploring my queerness, it felt like these things couldn’t cohabitate,” they told me. “Country music, queerness, dancing – but now it feels like they can. And they should.”
They’re right. The space did more than simply allow queerness and country music to coexist; it explored and celebrated it beautifully.
“There are a couple of songs that let the magic happen,” Tori said. “I look around and see everyone smiling at each other, and it’s like the room becomes sepia-colored, and I get this feeling of like, ‘This is why we do this.’”
I felt that, too.
For a night, the world got a little softer. A little safer. A little freer. It was so much bigger than the dancing; it was about what the dancing made possible. And for anyone who’s ever felt unsure, nervous, out of place… this is a space that reminds you:
You’re not. You just haven’t been asked to dance yet, or maybe you haven’t given yourself permission to dance yet.
Want to join the next Queer Honky Tonk? You can reach out to Meg Rhinehart (@copperhead_meg or megrhinehart@gmail.com) or Tori Griffin (@tori.twirling.tornado) to get added to the local WhatsApp group and stay in the loop.
Don’t overthink it. Don’t second-guess it. Go out and try something new; you might end up having one of the most freeing experiences of your life.
“The first person you have to give permission to be free is yourself.” — Anika Winters
